The Official Waters™ Grammys Preview

Will you be watching the Grammys? I won’t be. That’s been life once I decided to be a millennial and stop paying for cable. But I’ll be looking up the performances once they’re posted online, so here’s an alphabetical preview guide to those musical moments that will happen on Sunday night while I sleep.

By the way, I’m leaving out your dad’s favorite bands because I don’t play them on the show and therefore don’t care. Fight me. Here’s the list:

  1. Ariana Grande – She won a Grammy before, so it’s not like Ari is a stranger to the stage. But the big question is, what song will she sing? Between “7 Rings,” “thank you, next,” and “Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored,” she’s got a lot to choose from. Maybe a medley?

  2. BTS – After their first appearance last year, the boys from South Korea famously claimed they’d be back to the Grammys soon enough. And they were right! It’ll be a big moment, because they’re the first Korean band to grace the stage.

  3. Billie Eilish – She’s nominated for 6 Grammy awards this year, but all I can think about is how she drove a car into the ocean in her new “Everything I Wanted” music video. If the water-logged car makes an appearance on Sunday night, I think we’ll all be happy.

  4. Billy Ray Cyrus – The kids these days only know him for a 45-second verse on Old Town Road, and not his masterful performance as Hannah Montana’s dad. Too bad that won’t change this weekend.

  5. Camila Cabello – The “Havana” singer said this week that if she wins an award on Sunday, she’ll walk up on stage in her underwear. Whether or not she’ll disrobe herself during her performance is still a mystery.

  6. Demi Lovato – This is one of the most-talked-about performances, leading up to the event. Demi will make her return to the spotlight with a new song called “Anyone,” and after she sings it, her team will release it so we can all relive the moment.

  7. Diplo – Something something casual sex with Sia something something.

  8. DJ Khaled – He’s been nominated three times for a Grammy, and scored the victory once. On Sunday, he’ll go for “Another One!” Sorry, had to.

  9. Jonas Brothers – Nick, Joe, and Kevin will take the stage and deliver a more rock-n-roll feel than most of their pop contemporaries. But I’ve heard rumors that they might debut a new song up on stage as well…

  10. Lil Nas X – He’ll be joined by Diplo, Billy Ray Cyrus, and pretty much anybody else who did an “Old Town Road” remix. You’d never believe what song they’re going to perform.

  11. Lizzo – She’s come a long way in the past few years, and all of Lizzo’s hard work is paying off on national TV! Right after her first Rolling Stone magazine covershoot, she’ll bring some glamour and sass to the Grammys as well.

  12. Roddy Ricch – That’s not a typo, that’s his last name. Well, not his real last name. He was born Rodrick Moore, Jr., but we’ll hope his Grammy performance is more exciting than his legal name.

Nowadays, there are so many awards shows, it’s hard to keep track of who’s up for what nominations. So while you’re struggling to figure out if Old Town Road is up for Record for the Year or Best Music Video (it’s both), hopefully you’ll enjoy some of the performances too.