This article is safe for work, don’t sweat it. But let’s be real for a second: if you spent the pandemic single, you’re almost certainly beyond ready to start seeing people again. And let’s keep being real, you wanna do more than just see them.
Enter this new research, ranking the horniest, thirstiest, nastiest, and freakiest cities in Hampton Roads!
If you’re keen on getting into some post-pandemic action ASAP, your best bet would be to expand the geographic range and start swiping in Richmond, VA – our nearby neighbors in the River City came in at 14th horniest in the nation! Damn, Daddy.
But if you’re not willing to drive 2.5 hours to enjoy ~15 minutes, let’s look at the rankings right here in the Seven Cities. The capital of 69 in the (757) was Norfolk, poppin’ out a huge position at 55th overall. After that, comes Newport News at 127th in America, and VA Beach made the list at 155th.
Finishing the rankings for Coastal VA was Chesapeake, which only scored 185th. Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t find a good time in the 23322 zip code or something close by. The cities were ranked by access to adult entertainment & stores, plus the amount of knockin’ boots and right-swiping activity that the researchers were able to find.
So if you’re vaxxed, waxed, single, and ready to do a lil’ more than mingle, we wish you the best of luck makin’ it happen! The study might say you should start in Norfolk, but the rest is up to you 😉
Research from LawnStarter.